>Jeremy is a bit of a ‘bipolarORwakingUP’ success story, but of course, I can take only take a tiny part of the credit. As I’m learning from all of the people that write me with their stories of healing their bipolar disorder, my work on YouTube is just one more nudge in the right direction. As you will read, Jeremy, like so many others diagnosed ‘bipolar-for-life’ stopped listening to the noise outside and started honoring his inner spirit. And for Jeremy, his spirit was saying, “Dude, you gotta get your house in order!’ Here is the first except from his blog at http://lotuswork.wordpress.com/
I want to tell my story, but not for a high five or a kudos. It is not to get an “atta-boy” or a pat on the back. I want to tell it because it is time to look at the view atop the mountain that I have been climbing for over ten years. I want to tell it because I hope that maybe someone is looking for a glimmer of hope no matter what DIS-ease your body is telling you. My story is meant to be told for my own well-being and it is my last step to fully embrace it.
Our society has a carved out the mental disorders as something that needs to be suppressed and fixed. However, our solutions are not perfect. It started for me in college during a time when most push themselves to the brink by partaking in activities that may be foreign to many. I was no stranger to this. I stayed up late during the week studying and then partied hard on the weekends. My diet consisted of an incomplete breakfast, a lunch of more carbs, and pizza or some other unhealthy choice. There was no salad or pure, raw foods mixed in anywhere.
My only exercise was walking to class (took the bus for the long walks) and lifting kegs. I never learned the art of quieting the mind, so I turned to TV to help. My way of coping with any stress was to shove things in my body such as alcohol, food, and other dangerous chemicals. I was pushing myself to the limit in the wrong direction.
My stress levels intensified as the semesters came and went until my spirit finally had it. My body, mind, and emotional well being were pushed to the brink. There are many theories about WHY someone has a manic experience, but to me it was simple. My spirit said, “If you can’t change, then I will help you.” My body was in one place, my mind in another, my emotions were out of wack, so an explosion took place. It was a recipe for mania. I know that anyone in the same circumstances would have a similar experience.
I will skip over all the years of medication and hospitalization that I endured in the beginning of this. I was told that I would have to be on medication for the rest of my life and there was no cure. Funny thing is that I was a psychology student and read all about this the semester before. I remember thinking that I shouldn’t believe it. I heard that most people who were diagnosed this way, don’t believe they are sick. Well I was sick, but relying totally on medication and the doctors was not the complete way to regain my health.
I am not condemning all the wonderful doctors and nurses that helped me along the way. I am not condemning the medications that I chose to take. They all helped me to get to where I am today. Although, I felt like I was giving my power away. We all have the power to return to homeostasis if given the chance.
I really owe much to my family because they always stuck by me even when I was unbearable to watch or be around. I AM blessed to have such wonderful support in my transition to health.